i do it all in pen, no erasing allowed. i own every 'excruciating minutiae' of my past, no matter how embarassing/horrific/vile/vain/vulgar or involuntary. it's made me who i iz, which is still yet to be determined. i wake up every morning and decide who/what/how i feel like being for the day. however, sometimes i switch the gears in mid stride. i've been through many external guises, many skins, but my core has mostly remained the same. i'm not an asshole. it's the southern-bred and raised part of my personality/mentality. i'm nice to everyone unless i deem they don't deserve it, but i'm not one of the new crop of peeps who declare themselves above everyone else. i'm not a little shit who thinks he's the shit, i don't tell others that they should wish they were me, and i don't put myself on a pedestal and demand attention and mass adoration. having said all that, though, i will admit that i think i am more intelligent than the majority of the hordes, i have a third eye and a keen intuition for what's really going on, i predict things others don't see coming and i catch things others miss.
plus, i don't know how to edit myself, and i'm probably going to erase everything i just typed.

not the same as yesterdays or tomorrows.

cold, hard, bricks, glass, feathers, salty, melted, viscous, gooey, warm, furry, pulsing, banging, hammering, pounding, slamming, twitching, spasming, jerking, spindly, difficile, echoey, swirly, toxic, moisty, tragic, alien, passionate, needle-hearted, staccato, tremolo, glitch, gaze, and grind., i am on music o.d. from Oink, which has changed my life., 'she died from an overdose....'

Japanese spookouts, Svankmajer, Jodorowsky, Bros. Quay, The Fountain, Fur, Nacho Cerda's The Abandoned, plus his shorts 'Aftermath' and 'Genesis', Brothers Of The Head, The Last Great Wilderness, Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon, Screaming Masterpiece, Lisa Gerrard's Sanctuary, Running With Scissors (which spooked my shit, yo. it hit a BIT close to home), all versions of Ju On/The Grudge, and Marebito (yes i realize ive already said japanese spookouts, but that was a long time ago. i'm feeling more specific today). Oh, and another 'Genesis', this one the Japanese version.

Heroes, Lost *even though i haven't watched the last 11 episodes, i have them tivoed to watch at some point in time*. Kathy Griffin cracks my shit UP, but, like Ketamine, only in small doses or else i end up as a tiny spirit in a K(athy)-Hole. I loved Flavor of Love's Charm School. it was so ridiculous.

pretty much anything by Caitlin R. Kiernan, who is the master of grabbing you by the tonsils and dragging you through beautifully horrific landscapes and scenarios, then sending out the ghouls and changelings/children of the Cuckoo to rip off your eyelids so you don't miss one goddamn thing. except for the endings, which can sometimes fall into the realm of 'love it or loathe it' territory due to their often vague conclusions. i usually despise describing anything as love/loathe, because there is ALWAYS a middle ground, but it just may be apropo here. Of course i'm lumped in with the lovers, although i'm always wanting moremoremore....., *shameless plug alert*-you can subscribe to her monthly series of online weird erotica/short stories for only 10 bone$/month at Sireenia Digest. check her out, i dare you...